Yesterday I walked around Boston and felt a sunken energy in the air that I haven’t felt before. People were defeated, broken, angry, fearful, and a whole compilation of feelings. I could relate. I too felt a sense of defeat, a broken heart, and a fear that exceeded most. I woke up with tears in my eyes as so many did afraid to know that hatred won. There are many reasons people are afraid and it relates to everyone so similarly yet, it’s a different experience individually.
As a woman, a member of the LGBTQ+ community, and someone who goes between being a survivor and a victim of sexual assault, I had my reasons to wake up anxious about my existence in this world. But my fears are very different than the fears of people of color, immigrants, muslims, trans identifying folks, those with disabilities, etc. All of these fears felt are valid but I acknowledge I’ll never fully understand their experiences as they will never fully understand mine. They’re different, mine are different, all of ours are different but all of ours are real and valid and important.
I’m struggling with the correlation of fear with anger and hatred. It is the deep fear of Americans that has lead the country to this point. That hatred was brewed by the deep fear of the changing world. But this hatred and fear isn’t new, it’s been here all along, it just has finally come to the forefront. We can’t look away, it’s in our faces. How do we as lovers, givers, and human beings move forward in effective change without too giving into the fear and the hatred? Because hating those we don’t see eye to eye with will only put fuel in these already burning flames. How do we rise out of this pain and hurt from a place of openness and love? That’s what I’m searching for.
The most amazing changes this country has gone through wasn’t because of the systems in place but from the Americans who have fought for what is right, who fought with dignity and love and openness. Because fighting with hatred and fear makes us no better than those who hate us. Fighting with love, that’s where change really occurs. This is an opportunity. An opportunity to go out into the worlds with open arms and fight hard, with the purest love in our hearts. Love for the people we care for, for our home, for the greater quality of life. Finding compassion in those we differ so greatly from can be extremely difficult but how else can we connect and unite? How else can we ever be heard?
Take care of yourselves now. Allow yourself to feel the pain and the emotions that arise because they are important and valid and essential to reaching growth. Process them but don’t sulk in them. Allow them to flow through you. When your feelings are felt through authenticity, not pushed away or shoved down, that’s when clarity comes through. Take the time to feel. Because that clarity will give you strength and the ability to go out and fight. It’ll make you want to fight with your whole being but most importantly, it’ll allow you to make incredible change from a place of love and openness. I chose love.
I hear you, I love you, I’m here for you. My lovely readers, don’t hesitate to reach out. Let’s cultivate change. Let’s love hard.